I’m not going to teach algebra, but please help.

In the late 80’s I decided I wanted to be a teacher. I was around 14/15, and I liked schoolgirls, so becoming a school teacher made sense. I took A levels, and I made an arse of them, but I passed maths, the important one for a maths teacher. I was offered a placement at Bristol Polytechnic, and somewhere in York. Can’t remember the name of it, which is a worry.

Anyway, I decided to take a year out, can’t remember why, but during this time I was offered a job. The Managing Director and Sales Director seemed to like me, and in an effort to keep me, offered me more money. Soon I was earning almost £10k a year, and this was cool beans. They paid for me to go to college and I did a postgraduate and got letters after my name (ooooooo!).

Turns out the Sales Director was a twat, so I left.

I found out the Sales Director had left, and the new Sales Director asked me back, so I went. Turns out the new Sales Director and the MD were think as a mince milkshake, and the company went pop, so 200 people lost their jobs. We all got drunk. I kicked a kebab, but that’s another story.

Years passed, but I always harboured the desire to teach. So in 2008, I started a degree. You need a degree to teach you see, a post grad in science doesn’t qualify you to teach fractions to 11 year olds, but nevertheless, I started. In the 7 years since, the Conservatives, spearheaded by Michael “Prick” Gove, have royally shagged the education system. Good teachers have been driven to the point of despair, and unless you’re a “Yes” person who’ll suck off anyone and everyone off to get anywhere, not giving a shite who you stand on to get there, you’re just a number. A number that is treat like shit. Well that can kiss my balls. I wouldn’t be a teacher now for £100k a year, honest.

Where was I? Oh yes. Tomorrow is my final exam, should I pass. It’s in Leeds. So the purpose of this is thus:

Do I:-

1) Drive

2) Get the train so I can get pissed after in Leeds if it went well

3) Get the train so I can get pissed after in Leeds if it didn’t go well

4) Can someone take me to the train station

5) Can someone pick me up from the train station

6) Can someone buy my beer.

9) Don’t laugh at me being a maths teacher, I’m good at maths

y) And algebra


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